Fairytale weddings and fears

I know some girls dream about a fairytale wedding and begin collecting ideas and looking for inspiration long before they get hitched.

I suppose I’ve never really given much thought to it having grown up hearing stories about the realities of marriage, the pain of infidelity, people who feel they have chosen their partners poorly and end up co-existing in a loveless marriage. One of my greatest fears used to be the thought of waking up 10 years after being married and looking at the man lying next to me, and thinking, “What have I done?”

The past more than two years with Heng Khuen has been an exercise in confronting my fears – perceived or otherwise – and learning to trust in his character, words and action. It’s also been a delightful journey in discovering God’s sovereignty over my life. Time and time again, I have been surprised by joy, and He has certainly done exceedingly abundantly over and above what I could have asked for or imagined.

Who can say how our lives are going to turn out? For better or for worse, in sickness or in health, I can only trust that His grace shall be sufficient for me and that His strength will be made perfect in my weakness. I will be able to deal with whatever comes my way when it comes my way. No point worrying about the what-ifs now.

All this reflecting has also brought me back to thinking about how Heng Khuen and I first met, which was all rather funny. The post, A Letter in Love was titled after one of my favourite books of all times, Alain de Botton’s Essays in Love, which Heng Khuen bought me for my birthday in 2009.